One life- lived in pursuit of excellence

Fall Date x 2

2011-12-19T03:25:00.001-08:00

Remember that "Fall Date" back around October? Well I meant to post the rest of it and it has been holding up all other posts. Now I just give up. There is two much past that needs to be added to the little blog that has happened since. But It was so fun and the pictures were so great and I did say that I would....so here are the promised pictures and now I can move on with my blogging life!

2 Years

2011-12-10T11:10:00.001-08:00

November 21st...just an average day for you. For us a very special day-our anniversary!Two years-the day was a little rough, but the evening was grand! Presents and dinner

I will be excited to get a camera for Christmas! This cellphone camera-well it's not an Iphone

Fall Date

2011-10-28T21:15:00.000-07:00

Friday is a day full of favorite things. The first being the end of the work week. Many other favorite things followed. Our date night got delayed many days this week due to headaches and the world series-it was worth the wait!

The evening included:

Pumpkin spiced latte and Salted hot chocolate

A nice fall walk. We didn't see this bench or these trees, but other nice trees and benches.

We then went on the "haunted tour" that started at the downtown museum. Really historic. Really. Really long. But with this favorite person of mine.

Making friends with the locals

He is such a Ham!

Then home to watch the premier of this show-because we missed our fave "Chuck." Really scary! Not sure we will add this to the regulars. Interesting concepts, but I had bad dreams from a preview last night, much less a whole show.

And the ultimate favorite dessert.

The rest of the weekend will be just as great! I promise! Pumpkin patch, date with Katie, McKay with Scott, Megan and Scott's. Let the good times roll!

Halloween take 1

2011-10-23T19:38:00.001-07:00

Those of us with rotating schedules (Scott and his work friends) have to take our "Holiday" weekends when we have them. Jamie and Crystal had their annual Halloween party last weekend and a good time was had by all. Great good, decorations, costume, friends-Thanks for having us guys!
We have another party this weekend and we will do some tweaking for our costumes to be ready! But here are some pics of the first go around.

Oh the Edwards are so festive!

Scott is Larry Bernandez..Felix Hernandez's alter ego-you won't get it unless you are a huge fan and saw the commercial. Halfway through the party he gave it up, and with just a Mariner.

Mini Mouse. Pretty self explanatory. My work costume is great! Look for pictures....

McKay

2011-10-23T19:36:00.001-07:00

McKay Cottage is a favorite place of mine. Made all the better by this lovely lady's company. I spent Saturday morning with my Mommy running errands and eating strawberry crepes. Delish and simply delightful.

Civil war

2011-10-21T19:34:00.001-07:00

Cheerleaders, football, homecoming, lights, rosy noses-oh high school football! Friday Night we went to the civil war game between Mountain View and Bend High. So much fun! We cheered for Scott's old stomping grounds and team-Go Lava Bears. The lost-rather spectacularly, which is always a shame on homecoming, but we enjoyed ourselves.

Capturing the moment

Sporting team colors-somehow my face looks all squished. Blah

Happy saturday

2011-10-08T11:51:00.001-07:00

Yes we get to spend Saturday together and we are obviously very excited! Happy perfect fall Saturday to you!

Mi Coche Nueve

2011-09-18T21:05:00.001-07:00

Just so you all can see my baby-the result of our car troubles in Seattle. This little beauty. Only two tiny tiny scratches so far, and in my defense, one was from parallel parking. Stop by and see the baby!

Vaction update

2011-09-04T20:43:00.000-07:00

What do being mistaken for a burglar, having your car brake down, getting your rental car broken into, having some stuff stolen, buying a new car, a grade-A sunburn, and your grandmother having a stroke all have in common? If you guessed our vacation to Seattle-you would be right. You could have also guessed misery, character building, insane bad luck and that wouldn't be to far off either.

Night one. We get to Seattle and my family wants us to stay in the their house in Green Lake-they rent it out to their nephew and his fam, but when they are gone then don't mind if friends/fam stay there.. Nice romantic night, yada yada yada. They send us off with the security code and we get there about 12:30. They neglected to give us the house key. When they finally get there with and we get to get its about 2:45 am-none of this is bad, just tired. Ready for the bad? The next morning we let our family know when we were up if they want to grab a bite and they called to say the owners of the house caught an earlier flight and will be home any second. They don't know we are there. THE absolute second they get off the phone with us to call them, we hear the door knob turn!!! Just use your imagination. I am sure what you think of is about what happened...funny now. Not then.

Day two. Car broke down. About 2k to fix, the mechanic said not worth it. Blown cylinders and all. We managed to hoof around and get rides with friends.

Day three. We need to get a rental car-some trouble there but it got figured out. Had the car about 4 hours and it got broken into. Window smashed, bag stolen. They left my GPS and stuff in the glove box, but they took a bag under the seat-had a camera, some keys, water bottle, not a lot of value to then, but to me! The same people were still at the rental car place-embarassing!
The police were nice though.

We did do a lot of fun stuff, and made the best of the bad. Mariners game with Joann and Matt Boswell. That is where the sunburn came in. Lots of good food and sushi. Underground tour. Ikea. Pike Place Market. Shopping. Wine tasting. Seeing Brie, Stacey, Tina, Sara, the Hegarty's, the Stoddard's. Stayed with friends for a few nights, then three nice nights in a hotel downtown. Very much fun!

Then we bought a car! Hyundai Elantra. Titanium Grey. So nice, but not really what we were planning in the budget for this time.

Nice trip home. My Grandmother had a stroke, but luckily she got to the hospital in time. They were able to get the blood clots taken care of. The paralysis went away and she can speak again. A huge answer to prayer.

It was just a long extinguishing vacation. I don't ever want to leave home again!

Vacation

2011-08-25T20:38:00.000-07:00

We will be home in a week!
Bye Bend. Not gonna lie-a break will be nice, not gonna miss you that much!
Love you,
Tara & Scott

Noodle Update

2011-08-22T20:02:00.000-07:00

Thursday was MRI day. Ug. I wasn't nervous to begin with, but they were running a little behind and anxiousness seems to grow while waiting. At least my Valium started out strong and held for a while, but not 2 hours. What was supposed to be a 40 minute scan lasted two stinkin hours! And that doesn't include the 30 min spend trying to find a vein. Did you know if they are desperate they can try and find vein in your ankle? Both in fact.

So the verdict? No change can be...no change. Nothing is worse, but nothing is better. My AVM shrunk 50% in the first 6 months, and then in the past year-nothing. Nada. Zip. We are very grateful that nothing has gotten worse, but it is hard to feel like a year wasn't wasted just waiting.

The suggestion from the doctors up here is to come up with a plan, where there is no plan the people perish, and all that. Hopefully all the people in AZ agree. We want to repeat the first surgery within the next 6 months, then we want to wait 2 more years and then have the unwanted mess taken out (if it has shrunk enough). Plans are just that. Only plans and quite easily changed, but we are praying about making that the next direction health wise.

More to come later...

Jackelope

2011-08-17T21:40:00.001-07:00

The Jackelope is defined as a "fearsome critter of North American folklore described as a jack-rabbit with the horns of an antelope." Some think they are a hybrid of the pygmy-deer and species of 'killer rabbit,' shy unless first approached. You may find a Jackelope in the fields and Forrest around Bend in the same neighborhoods as the local "Snipes."

The Jackelope could also be defined as a place to have dinner with the best of friends. Great food and ambiance. Maybe a little less known to the world at large, but equally as amazing. I am sure, like its name sake, this cozy little spot is even legendary in some circles.

Dinner is better with good friends.

Fresh flowers...

And any place with this guy can't be bad

If for your next dinner date you feel the desire to branch out, maybe think of this spot...can't go wrong with the stuffed quail either

2011-08-15T22:31:00.000-07:00

Faithful friends-if you are still out there...We write again!

For a while I haven't felt that I have had anything interesting to share. Or maybe when I do have something exciting that I can barley wait to share, the time just seems to slip through my fingers. Rest assured that Scott and I are still here, alive & well. Still in love-with each other and the life we have been blessed to lead.

Much is happening this month and we will try and turn over a new leaf and "get back" into the blogging world. for starters there is the wedding of a loved college roommate, a glorious and long awaited 10 day vacation to Seattle, a dreadful MRI, a housewarming party (that your all invited to! More to come on that).
More to come soon!

We love you!
Love,
Tara & Scott

Normal Day

2011-03-12T11:06:00.000-08:00

I know my life was not made to be normal. God does not intend the miraculous to grow mundane, Manna should amazing everyday. Water from a rock is never normal. The normal is not for me. But I do love a normal weekend, a normal day. Laundry, dishes, friends, movies, church, sleep. Not the life-just the day.

"Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return..."

That I will miss a moment that’s important and it will slip through my fingers like water in sand. Then I remember that God is writing everything in His book and I can trust His memory even when I can’t trust my own.

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-15T20:56:00.000-08:00

Oh my goodness this was the best Valentine's Day of my life. Scott and I have had three together so far. I won't type it up, only because words would fail to do it justice. The man I love is so thoughtful, genuine, amazing, romantic, and truly the adjectives could go on forever...But ask me about Valentine's #3. I would love to tell you about it! It will stun and amaze you! How I have been blessed with the love of Scott Edwards constantly shows me the goodness of God.

This picture remains one of my favorites. Taken on top of the Space Needle, on our first Valentine together, the night he said he loved me. It is on my desk at work-a constant reminder of my Scott.

If it were possible to pick only a few things I loved about him I would, and just for blogs sake, lets say that it is and I will pick the top 10 that come to mind...

10. He drives me to and from work when he can-I love those extra few minutes with him and having him waiting for me after a long day is one of the best things
9. He is an amazing cook-anything you want he can make-definitely better than me. I am excited for an upcoming creme brulee phase
8. He takes care of when I am sick-makes sure I take medicine, got to doctors apt, all of that
7. He loves Jesus and the church-Loves serving and being a part of what God is doing in the community. A pillar in the local church and a leader
6. He is generous
5. He is thankful and joyful. He knows the good things in his life are from God and keeps a hold of a godly perspective when things get tough
4. He pays our bills-he is organized, on time, faithful and the stress relief is such a blessing. I tried for a while, but he is so much better
3. He has a stockpile of gifts that he has bought in advance, just waiting for the perfect moment, holiday, or event...oh the romance!
2. He knows words are important me and tell me every night 3 things he loves about me (repeats are allowed)
1. He has a Barnabas spirit. He is an encourager. He builds me up when I fall apart. Encourages me to pursue my dreams and the things God has put inside me.

Just a few things that I love about my Scott.

History

2011-02-15T20:54:00.000-08:00

If I had to pick one word to define my Scott and I-it would be history. We have much Back and forth history. Reading a dear friend’s blog (Annie) inspired me to share my own slightly tumultuous, less than perfect, and completely God ordained love story. Oh Valentines day.

We don’t remember when we met. Somewhere around 2004-possible. We just remember being friends. We met at church we think. Not a very memorable first impression for either of us. From the beginning one of us has taken turns liking the other. We became friends while I was doing Westside’s intern program and started hanging out. Then the true history of back and forth starts...

He came to my Christmas party with me one year, then someone else the next, then him again. He Kissed me on the Ithaca steps and asked me out at High Tides. Again poor timing.
He brought me flowers at work and I cried because I don’t know how I felt. He asked me out and I said no because I wasn’t sure we were on the same page spiritually. The same day I said yes to someone else. He started dating someone else too. Then I moved to Seattle coming home for summer and breaks. My Scotty and I were again single in July of 2008. Neither of us took the time to recover and fell into a bit of a rebound/summer romance. Not to many people were thrilled about it.

That fall I moved back to Seattle to finish school and we continued the back and forth. We broke up. I decided there was no future. But he decided differently. He asked my father permission to date me. That whatever the differences, that whatever it took to be the man he needed to be, he would make those changes. One Dinner date later, Christmas 2008 and we were back together.

Valentine’s Day 2009, on top of the space needle, after we had been “together” for about 9 months, he said he loved me. August, we got engaged. November 2009 married at last. 7 years of back and forth and now a year or wonderful marriage. 3 valentines under our belt and more to come.

Safe and secure from all alarm...

2011-01-18T19:59:00.000-08:00

The Dictionary defines safety as freedom from the occurrence or risk of injury and loss. Security has a similar definition. Freedom from danger, risk, etc., safety; freedom from care, anxiety, or doubt, well-founded confidence.

I lay awake along time the other night. There were some issues with people outside our apartment. I have lived her for a while and have always felt safe until yesterday. Scott was working and their was some individual who mistook our apartment for theirs. Once could be an accident. Twice with your shoulder too the door could hardly be a mistake. Possibly there is someone out there who is as directional challenged as myself, but our complex is very straight forward-big big numbers people! A number every person should have in their cell phone, the police non-emergency number 5

The wonderful police of our city made some loops and then all quite for the rest of the night. It was still difficult to get to and stay asleep after that.

This was my verse for the night...
Psalm 91:4-5
He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day

So many great verses to stand on in the middle of the night-Jesus is so faithful to restore security and safety and comfort. I am excited to go to bed and sleep well tonight.
Sleep. Sweet sleep.

Bernard

2011-01-18T19:43:00.000-08:00

Me and my main squeeze, Bernard. This was a little while ago-he is bigger and crazy now . But we are hanging out tonight and I realized that there are no pictures of this handsome man for the blogging community to see. This is our Kitty. Loved by even the most passionate cat haters.

Meet Bernard Stephan Edwards

Funeral

2011-01-09T20:49:00.000-08:00

This past weekend I went to Seattle for Pastor Wendell Smith's of the City Church memorial service. I can honestly say that it was the best funeral that I have ever been to. 3 hours barely touched the tip of the ice berg of the man's accomplishments and I feel so blessed to have been a part of his church. Leaving after wards, I felt so encouraged to walk out my life with more faith and not waist a moment.

Taking a cue from the lovely Bo Stern's blog, bostern.wordpress.com, I was thinking on what I want to have accomplished at the end on my life. What I want people to say at my funeral. I want to have made a difference in the lives of people around me

A few years ago my small group in Seattle was going trough a book that had us wright our our eulogy and epitaph...this is what I wrote then (2008 maybe?)

Tara Jeanette
April 3, 1985-
Loving wife, caring mother, devoted friend, kingdom builder, world changer.

Tara stood on God's promises and built her life on His truth. She was dedicated to speaking that life and hope into those around her.

Tara accomplished the will of God for her life in her generation-bringing righteousness and restoration to the government of America- and seeing her country men and women rise up to be passionate about God, desperate for His presence, and pursuers of His righteousness.

"Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just, and this be our motto: 'In God is our trust!'"

Well done good and faithful servant-you hit the mark and conquered the giants.

Today I think I could simplify.

I want it said of me-that my life wasn't wasted. That I was a good steward of everything God gave me. That I pursued excellence. That "I accomplished the will of God for my life in my generation."

Much to do,

Tara

Perspective-devotional thoughts

2010-12-19T13:45:00.000-08:00

John 6:20-21
"but he called out to them, “Don’t be afraid. I am here! Then they were eager to let him in the boat, and immediately they arrived at their destination!"

As I was reading this verse I started thinking about our perspective of where God is during the problems we are facing in life. I just kept thinking over and over how desperately we need Jesus in our lives, to even get by. Scratch that-how desperately I need Jesus. In the middle of our problems/our storms Jesus declares that He is with us. That we have only to allow Him into the situation. To invite Him into the middle of our mess.

Jesus was waiting for an invitation from the Disciples to come into the boat He was there- but their fear was distorting the picture. They were allowing fear to determine their responses and decisions. "Don't be afraid. I am here!" Without their fear, they were able to eagerly invite God in.

They were still in the boat, but Jesus was with them, and then a solution showed itself-the shore was instantly there. Firmer footing on which to walk through any further rain. I was thinking that it might have still been raining on shore (they did get there instantly), but everything looks better with Jesus in the situation. We still have the problems to walk through, but with the ultimate creator of solutions and abolish-er of fear...

Psalm 18:2
The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior;
my God is my rock, in whom I find protection.
He is my shield, the power that saves me,
and my place of safety.

Provers 18:10
The name of the Lord is a strong fortress;
the godly run to him and are safe.

Just my thoughts

Happy Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T09:01:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving! Best-favorite holiday of the year. Thanksgiving is about family and not stuck on a certain Thursday. Our family's Thanksgiving has been moved to Saturday to make it work for everybody-Per my request. I might be a little tantrum thrower. But it is my favorite:-) Today is Scott's birthday. We are having calzones with his family today. Then tomorrow the whole Edwards family is going to the Buce family home for the weekend. Hooray. Because of Scott's schedule this is the only holiday I get to spend with them.

Before I got married I was under the impression that the girls family "won." More holidays, more time, more, etc. But that isn't realistic for our life. Due to work schedules. Scott's two days, two nights, and four days off-makes things a little unpredictable. And the Edwards's live closer. 20 min as opposed to 2.5 hrs. I love my new family, but it hard when traditions change and I have to embrace new ones as I am the one coming into the family. The holidays are more emotional than other times-because selfishly I want it "the way it has been." But change is a part of growing up. A painful part sometimes, but it leads to something better!

This year I worked hard to make something new happen with both families. The best of both worlds. Non traditional, but I think it will make everyone happy. Compromise and all that.

So Saturday I get both families. Mom, Dad, Molly, Jake, Scott, Aaron, Jenny, Tim, Grandma Barbara, Aunt Heidi, Aunt Alana, Bobbi Jean, and maybe the Letoyski's- I am in charge of potatoes this year. Hooray for new families and new traditions.

Roots of Character-post 1

2010-11-07T19:34:00.000-08:00

Recently it has become apparent that there are cracks in my foundation that need to be examined and fixed. How better to do that by examining the roots of my character. Which, if you haven't had a chance to go through the book by Pastor Wendell Smith, you should,

Many times the bible compares our lives with that of a tree. Good roots, good trees, good fruit, etc...(Deut 20:19, Psalm 1, Psalm 52:8, Jeremiah 17:8, Psalm 92:12-13, Psalm 104:15-16, Proverbs 11:28-30,12:3,12, Isaiah 61:3)

The leaves & Fruit are a result of our actions

The trunk stands for our character

The Roots-basic attitudes of our lives.

Character-Moral Excellence and Firmness. We all have it. But we really need the character or Christ

For today I am thinking Bitterness.

"Because of man's basis sinful, self-centered nature, he is unwilling to humble himself in asking forgiveness for wrongs he has committed. He also finds it difficult to forgive others and harbors resentment and bitterness. He is easily offended and continues to retaliate by offending others."

"And be ye kind one to another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you" Ephesians 4:32

Something that sneaks up on a us. When suppressed it will build up and then just spew out-can you say crack in the foundation?

Practical fruit(evidence) of this root can manifest in...

sad or sorrowful countenance
sarcastic, critical talk-will harden your heart
inability to trust others and God
Frequent sickness, depression, discouragement
critical spirit
fatigue, loss of sleep and tiredness
insecurities
can't love well

How to over come our bitterness?

Remember asking forgiveness is the basis and foundation of having a good loving relationship
forgiveness is a sign of strength,forgive-just as God forgave
Fully forgive each of those who have offended you
ask forgiveness of God and others for wrongs on your part
Recognize that offenses are inevitable and be prepared to respond in a godly way
Learn to pray honestly

Few verses...

Matthew 6:12-15, 18:21-22, Luke 17:3-4, Mark 11:25, Romans, 12:21, Hebrews 12: 15, Colossians 3:13, 1 peter 3:9

Five Favorites

2010-11-05T17:21:00.000-07:00

Ohh I love November. It is the best month-for so many reasons!

My top five for today…

1. My second favorite holiday is upon us-Thanksgiving!
I can’t lie; the 4^th of July tops it by a little tiny bit.

2. Holiday cups at Starbucks! Which means Christmas is almost here!

3. Scott Edwards was born 29 years ago this month and the world is a better place because of it
I can’t say he is “the man of my dreams” because the reality is so much better than anything I could ever dream up or imagine.

4. #3 brings us to #4. Our anniversary is this month. One year. A great year. Foundational building. We have had to overcome more in this year than most couples do in 10, but it has been refining. And fun, so fun!

5. My Fireplace. Time spent in front of it being all toasty. Or Barnes and Noble. Theirs is good too. With a good friend, a magazine, peppermint Americano. So nice. Lovely.

Epic Fail

2010-10-24T22:23:00.000-07:00

Oh Failure. Sometimes life is hard. So much harder than it needs to be because we try to do it all on our own. Friends, family, GOd, all willing to help if we let them.

"A righteous man falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked are overthrown by calamity," Proverbs 24:16

Epic fail. How does distance happen in our relationship with God happen? Failure in devotions, time, prayer, etc. Faith and the fire of the Holy Spirit dwindle. Because I don't nurture it. The lack of desire, the lack of discipline.

Sometimes I feel I am going on memory and its lucky I had a big "spiritual gas" tank filled up. But it is running out and I need something more.

I don't want to be one of the sons of Sceva. I doubt that the Kingdom of Darkness knows me right now. I think they remember me as someone who used to be a threat, but nothing to worry about right now.

"... Jesus I know, Paul I know about, but who are you?" Acts 19:15

It is amazing how in an instant God can bring restoration and reconnection. When We ask, when we spend then time on our knees our failure is turned into his success and a little dwindling fire is fanned once again into a flame.

Small, but a flame none the less.

We are back.

2010-10-23T22:53:00.000-07:00

It has been forever-So much has happened in our lives! However, I don't like blogging without pictures-and now we are back in the picture market. Hooray! It is to late tonight, but soon I shall update on our lives. They are difficult, wonderful, full of adventure, and exciting.

Central Oregon Catch Up

2010-08-07T10:14:00.000-07:00

Central Oregon Catch Up. Kayaking with Kristen and High Desert Museum with Scott. I do miss my Blog but I don't have my camera cord anymore-lost! And posts without pictures never seem as fun. My journal-ling seems a lot personal lately-thus the lack of blogging. I hope to do better. San Fran Vacation pictures coming soon

Kids Camp

2010-08-07T09:52:00.000-07:00

Camp Crestbutte 2010
Many many pictures of kids camp
the girls never had their camera-leader designated picture taker

Is spring coming?

2010-05-25T21:16:00.000-07:00

Oh what a beautiful picture-how I wish spring were truly here. Then summer could come after that. Spring means summer is right behind. Please central Oregon-Spring/Summer?

Monday Monday

2010-05-03T18:27:00.000-07:00

Not a bad day. Not hated by any means. Sleep deprived, but good. The goal of this season is to find the blessings and in the words of a wise friend, "bloom where I am planted." The best part of Sunday afternoon was my glorious nap. That makes for a delayed bedtime and sleepy morning. Even with a sleepy morning- Smoothie from my Dad and Sister. Lunch from my wonderful husband. He went grocery shopping at Safeway for me. An evening at home on my wonderous couch. Little blessings. Stinking hard to find-those little buggers.

Good things from Friday...

2010-05-01T13:29:00.000-07:00

Friday was nice. Off work at 4. Then walking the butte with Beth. I have a small lung capacity from being out of shape, but other than that it was wonderful! Also The end of Friday means the beginning of the weekend! Hooray!

Todays Blessing...

2010-04-26T20:56:00.000-07:00

O God, You are my God; Early will I seek You; My soul thirsts for You; My flesh longs for You
In a dry and thirsty land where there is no water. So I have looked for You in the sanctuary, To see Your power and Your glory.

Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise You. Thus I will bless You while I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name. My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness, and my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips.

When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches. Because You have been my help, therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice. My soul follows close behind You; your right hand upholds me.

Psalms 63:1-8

This is my chapter for this season. A desperate season for God.

One quarter of a century

2010-04-05T20:53:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to me...
April 3rd marks the 25th anniversary of my birth
25 is going to be a great year! Now that I can drive rental cars the possibilities are endless! A lot can be said for year 24 as well. 24 lights (high/low) from the past year...

Worked at the Boys and Girls club in Seattle-love the 3rd and 4th graders
Ate fried green tomatoes-not so bad
Learned my way around Seattle GPS-less
Had a Valentines date on top of the Space Needle
Graduated from College
Decided not to be a lawyer
Got a job at NWBS (again)
Moved back to Bend
Got engaged to Scott Edwards
Got married, also to Scott Edwards:-)
Got our first pet-a fish named Bly
Went to Hawaii for the first time
Decided I don't like snorkeling much, might have to do with my lack of swimming skills
Bought furniture for our apartment
Saw the Lakers beat the Blazers at home-glory
Sugarland, Lady Antebellum, Deathcab, OneRepublic and Decemberist's concerts
First Christmas Eve/morning with a new family & new traditions
New Years in Portland watching Beauty and the Beast (the play)
Diagnosed with an AVM
Recovered well from a surgery
thing I'll add later
thing I'll add later
thing I'll add later
Going to Seattle for my birthday weekend, staying at a swank hotel downtown on the 26th floor. Sushi with Tina, Brie, Sara, Tracy, and Parker Friday night followed by games. Saturday a day of the S.A.M., Pike Place, Shopping, Relaxing, a dress-up dinner at Purple. Sunday Easter service at City church at Bell town campus,tea and breakfast then time with the Stoddard's. Dinner at Bucca. Dessert with Catherine and Daniel. More relaxing with friends. Monday meeting Eden Olivia and hanging out with Warren and Michelle. Then heading home. My husband not making me drive. Letting me read my book. Giving me a purse for by birthday.

We had a good weekend. It has been a good year. Believing for an even better one. What have been some of the highlights of your year so far?

As far as you can see...

2010-03-06T18:23:00.000-08:00

"Go as far as you can see when you get there you'll be able to see farther..."

Thomas Carlyle

Some days it feels like I can't see. Its easy to beat myself up. That the vision has faded. How can I get where God has for me-correction-for us, if we can't see where we are going? God feels distant, the desire to be with Him non-existent. Then you turn a corner and you can see a little further than before. Maybe not as far as when you first got saved or in CLC-but still. Then you hear a verse that you have heard a million times and it helps breaks through the numbness and brings light and increases the distance you can see...

Ezekiel 37
The Dry Bones Live

The hand of the LORD came upon me and brought me out in the Spirit of the LORD, and set me down in the midst of the valley; and it was full of bones. Then He caused me to pass by them all around, and behold, there were very many in the open valley; and indeed they were very dry. And He said to me, “Son of man, can these bones live?” So I answered, “O Lord GOD, You know.” Again He said to me, “Prophesy to these bones, and say to them, ‘O dry bones, hear the word of the LORD! Thus says the Lord GOD to these bones: “Surely I will cause breath to enter into you, and you shall live. I will put sinews on you and bring flesh upon you, cover you with skin and put breath in you; and you shall live. Then you shall know that I am the LORD.”’” So I prophesied as I was commanded; and as I prophesied, there was a noise, and suddenly a rattling; and the bones came together, bone to bone. Indeed, as I looked, the sinews and the flesh came upon them, and the skin covered them over; but there was no breath in them. Also He said to me, “Prophesy to the breath, prophesy, son of man, and say to the breath, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD: “Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe on these slain, that they may live.”’” So I prophesied as He commanded me, and breath came into them, and they lived, and stood upon their feet, an exceedingly great army. Then He said to me, “Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. They indeed say, ‘Our bones are dry, our hope is lost, and we ourselves are cut off!’ Therefore prophesy and say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD: “Behold, O My people, I will open your graves and cause you to come up from your graves, and bring you into the land of Israel. Then you shall know that I am the LORD, when I have opened your graves, O My people, and brought you up from your graves. I will put My Spirit in you, and you shall live, and I will place you in your own land. Then you shall know that I, the LORD, have spoken it and performed it,” says the LORD.’”

What is an AVM

2010-02-20T21:02:00.000-08:00

For those who ask, and long over due...
What is an AVM? Two weeks before our wedding I was diagnosed with an Arterio Venous Malformation. The short version. An AVM is a developmental problem (I was born with it) with the veins and arteries. Basically-arteries bring high pressure blood into the brain and are very muscular. Veins are weaker and take low pressure blood away from the brain. Capillaries are between the two and depressurize the blood and remove nutrients. I am missing capillaries in a section of my brain-making the veins expand. Causing me to have sensory paralysis seizures on my left side. Not all there is to it, but for most reading my blog, it fills the need. Mine in rather large, a grade 4 out of 5. It is sitting right next to the sensory/motor area of the brain which makes surgery complicated and dangerous. Why not leave it? There is a 4% compounding change of having an aneurysm each year. So 4% this year, 8% next year, and so on and so forth...
Having an aneurysm could be just as damaging as a high risk surgery. We have decided to go ahead with treatments rather that take our chances.

We have opted for treatment that will try and shrink the AVM away from the sensitive areas of the brain enough to make it safe to operate on. Its called a Gamma Knife (using focused radiation on a part of the brain). We went to St. Joseph's Hospital in Phoenix in February for the procedure. Now we wait and pray. In 6 months I have an MRI. Then we repeat the process. It can only be done twice due to the levels of radiation your body is receiving. So no we wait and pray that it shrinks enough that it can be surgically removed or just go away completely:-)

For the visual learners....

Here is a picture of an AVM (not mine)-commonly referred to as a bag of worms because of how the blood vessels are all crazy and everywhere

My AVM is the size of a child's ice cream cone

Me at St. Joseph's hospital in Phoenix before the Gamma Knife surgery

A close up of the screws they used-yikes!

Not a fun season to be in. It is difficult to wait without knowing. We feel as if parts of our life are on hold. But we appreciate all your support and prayers. I didn't want to write this post. Makes it it 100% real. But it also makes it easier than telling everyone from scratch:)

The dreaded update

2010-01-09T16:52:00.001-08:00

Do you ever feel that you have but off updating for so long that it would just be easier to just never update the blog? I am there. Right there. Today. Right now. I need to update the world on the good, the glorious, the bad, and the ugly going on's of our life. But just the thought of the energy it will take...exhausting. Not even to mention the time typing, spelling correctly, and watching my grammar. But soon. Real soon. The update you have been waiting for. Then you will know what is going on. How to pray and what the future looks like for us. Lots of love.

Seattle Visit

2009-11-18T18:33:00.000-08:00

A visit to Seattle. Some long awaited pictures. Spending time with the jaguars, Pike place, flowers from the fiance, family, friends, cheese cake, shopping, etc.

Even busy people...

2009-11-04T22:12:00.000-08:00

Apparently even busy people can find time to enjoy nature.

Enjoy nature?
This is me after being stung by a bee, very unsure of this whole "great outdoors thing."

Proxy Falls is always worth seeing!

It might just be my favorite falls

being silly

Posing

All in all-a much needed break from society and the busyness of our lives

How do I love thee?

2009-08-28T22:31:00.000-07:00

Let me count the ways...

The man I love and am going to marry. How perfect are we?

Name Change Coming Soon...

2009-08-11T19:56:00.000-07:00

Yes- thats right. On November 21, 2009 I will be changing my name. Soon I will be Tara Jeanette Edwards. Scott and I are getting married! Sunday we went to Crater Lake and the most perfect proposal took place. Scott got down on one knee to take off his back pack. He was digging around for "water" and stuff like that. I guess he figured since he was already down on one knee he might as well pull out a tiny blue box with a not-tiny-oh-so-amazing ring. Oh so amazing. So four plus years after meeting, three plus years since our first kiss, two plus years since we decided to just be friends, and nearly a year of dating-he asked and I said yes! We will keep you posted as wedding plans fall into place!

au revoir Seattle

2009-08-08T13:19:00.000-07:00

Few pictures of my going away/graduation party. I am trying to get caught up on blogging. Why is that when your life has so much fun stuff to blog about there is no time to blog?!

Goodbye BBGC

2009-07-07T21:15:00.000-07:00

I have meant to post pictures of the amazing year I had working with the Ballard Boys and Girls Club but somehow never got around to it. Better late than never. It breaks my heart to not be with my kids still. I was never much of a 'kid person' but these kids changed that! They are going to be in my prayers and heart for a long time yet. They will change the world-just watch!

Oh how I love them! I love the way they see the world. They don't see limitations yet and believe in the impossible! They believe the impossible for me as well. On "career" day it was decided that I should be either a lawyer, actress, doctor, author, pro wrestler, detective, judge, poster maker, flight attendant, fashion designer, race car driver, president, FBI agent, or a zoo keeper. Who knows which one I will pick? The future is bright in spite of not working with these lovely kids anymore.

A picture is worth 1000 words. 25 pictures x 1000 words=the equivalent of 25000 words.

Putnam, Trevor, Erik, Penn, Ben, Leandra, David, Joey, Devon, Jules, Lauren, Elena, Louisa, Nichole, Lydia, Colin, Maren, Melle, Keith, Joe, Keegan, Anna, Shea, Emily, Emily b, Jaylen, Jalayne, Greer, Tasha, Sydney, Aliar, Jasper, Jake, Maeve, Alec, Cameron, Travis, Henry, Blake, Maiah...Thank you for changing the way I see the world and the way I see myself.

Ivy Cutting

2009-07-07T20:11:00.000-07:00

Ivy cutting is a SPU tradition. It is more symbolic, intimate, and much shorter than graduation. It also takes place on the campus. A large ivy wreath circles the loop and all the graduates gather around it.
The President and faculty cut the ivy between the seniors, thereby signifying the end of their college years and separation as they enter the world.
Seniors are expected to plant their ivy (in theory), but it’s more a symbolic gesture that permanent friendship and affinity with their alma mater will continue.

The family

Casey and I
we worked at the BBGC together

Dr Davis and I
one of my fav teachers & my adviser

Nicole and I
best study-buddy ever!

Dr Durasoff
another great teacher

Tracy and I
a great friend who will soon be famous

2009-06-18T17:14:00.000-07:00

So far I have lived Twenty-four full years.
Twenty-four months were spent in the “rainy city.”
Twenty-fours things I learned from my time in Seattle…

1) I learned how to tan. The real sun doesn’t shine much during the winters.
2) I learned to always carry at least 3 umbrellas in my car-always.
3) I learned to never leave home with out a change of clothes, makeup and high heels. One must always be prepared!
4) I learned how to be an aggressive driver.
5) I learned how to use my car horn-quite aggressively.
6) I learned how to navigate multiple freeways every day- 518, 509, 99, I5, 405, 520, I90, etc.
7) I learned that I am ok by myself. I don’t need a crowd or agenda to be happy.
8) I learned what it feels like to be the “new kid” again. Putting yourself out there to make friends is harder than I remembered-but so worth it!
9) I learned that God is faithful to provide new friends and community.
10) I learned the ins and outs of constitutional law.
11) I learned that I do not, under any circumstances, want to be a lawyer.
12) I learned how Machiavelli, Rousseau, Locke, Aristotle, Plato, Thomas Aquinas, Augustan and many others view the world and why I agree/disagree with them.
13) I learned that I love Lincoln and Jaffa with a passion.
14) I learned how expensive private schools are. Those Bachelor degrees can break the bank.
15) I re-learned how to balance work, school, homework, church, and friends.
16) I learned that I love children. Working with the Boys and Girls Club was an absolute highlight and it makes me sick to think of not working with my kids.
17) I learned how to work with children. Happy ball, fuse beads, casualty, torpedo, etc.
18) I learned to be brave and take adventures by myself.
19) I learned about grace.
20) I learned how to write thank you cards. I always knew how, but since I never wrote them, I’m not sure if that counts or not. There were so many people that made my life in Seattle possible. I am very grateful. Nothing says grateful on a budget like a thank you card!
21) I learned that I can be happy where God places me-regardless of where that is or how long I will be staying.
22) I learned that I can call two places home. Seattle. Bend. My homes. Bend is where I will be geographically located until God speaks elsewhere.
23) I think I learned how to be a grown-up while I was gone. I am glad to be home, but am homesick at the same time.
24) Overall, I learned new levels of trusting God and being obedient when He calls.
Until the next adventure,
Tara

I graduate soon!

2009-06-08T11:22:00.000-07:00

Graduation. Sunday June 14th, 2009. 2:00p at Safeco Field. We are having a BBQ at the Stoddard's after if you live in the greater Seattle area and want to stop by (6:30-7ish).

Hooray for me! Bachelors degree take that!

Random catch up

2009-06-08T11:14:00.000-07:00

So here is a random assortment of the end of May-start of June. Trying to get caught up. Included:
YP retreat, coffee w/ Nico, Portland zoo, Balloons over Bend, first room mate pics, garbage bag fashion show, senior dinner, etc.

Summer...here to stay?! Please let it be!

2009-05-17T22:57:00.001-07:00

Seattle Aquarium

2009-05-16T12:50:00.000-07:00

So Scott and I had the chance to play tourist the other day. We explored some fun places and restaurants in the greater Seattle area, one of which was the Seattle Aquarium! Hooray! There wasn't a pandemic this time and the fish were actually alive and swimming!

The 509 bridge is always up! I swear!

But this time it provided the perfect opportunity for a photo shoot

take 1

take 2

take 3

Don't ask why, but this fish reminds me of Karlee Ann

My best fish impersonation

Scott acting like a star fish?

A very fun day.
Unfortunately, my camera only made it along for a small part of the adventure.
Wish me better luck next time!

Update shumpdate

2009-05-14T20:07:00.000-07:00

I graduate in 31 days! Woo-hoo!
That is my excuse for not taking pictures and blogging. But I was tired of looking at the same picture, so here is a new one until I can decently update

The amazing Buce family.
Molly, Jake, Tom, Tara, & Carol.
I am pushing for this to be our Christmas card picture...we'll see

Inspired by the Beautiful Bo

2009-04-23T14:07:00.000-07:00

As I was reading the amazing Bo Stern's blog this morning, I was inspired to post something on my much loved and neglected blog. Like Bo, I am a passionate lover of To-Do Lists. But I love crossing things off when I finish them! I thought I would share what my day has looked like so far...

Impressive? I know! Please also note that the sun is shining in the background. Glory!
Things like work (which I may be late for because of this blog) and homework (which I am behind on because of this blog) are not included because they are never ending:-).
Much love,
Tara

Vacation pictures

2009-04-09T19:13:00.001-07:00

Guess where I am?!

2009-03-23T17:44:00.000-07:00

Yeah, you'll never guess, so I'll just tell you...

Happy vacation to me! I'll take pictures and bring home souvenirs.

Lots of love,

Tara

A good friend comes to visit...

2009-03-16T20:35:00.000-07:00

A good friend came all the way from Idaho to visit me. Much fun followed.
Thanks Lorelei, amiga.
I had a great time!

Rain at the right time

2009-03-14T10:35:00.000-07:00

Rainy devotions from the rainy city...

"The Lord will send rain at the proper time from His rich treasury in the heavens to bless all the works you do..."
Deuteronomy 28:12a

"The son of the slave-wife was born in a human attempt to bring about the fulfillment of God's promise. But the son of the freeborn wife was born as God's own fulfillment of His promise..."
Galatians 4:13

As I read this today, I found myself thinking about how God knows exactly what I need and exactly when I need it. He will provide the direction, the visions, the open doors, etc., right when I need to step into them. God sends the rains at the right time. Very simple-but so reassuring while waiting for God's timing.

I was also reminded in Galatians to not rush God's hand and try and obtain 'the promise' on my own. God fulfills His promises for my life in His perfect way and perfect timing.

God is so good to encourage and reassure while we wait for Him. Love it. Love Him. Love you.
Love,
Tara

Seattle Update

2009-02-17T23:13:00.000-08:00

My life is busy and not really blog-worthy right now. I got a new camera and have barley have time to break it in. Homework and sleep take up lots of time. But life is good. Working at the Boys & Girls Club with the 4th/5th graders. School-4 credits short of graduating in June-that means online classes over the summer. Church and friends. There is more, but...
call me if you want updates. Lots of love!

Pictures...

I live in this pretty city. A clear night in Seattle.
The perfect night to see it from the top of the Space Needle.

Tina's going away party. Brie, me, & Tina
Have fun in Deutschland!

Stacy and Dustin's photo shoot.
Senior pics style-anniversary presents for their parents

Lunch down on the water.

My Valentine & I

Sweet Seattle.

2008-Caught up and blogged about

2009-01-16T13:31:00.000-08:00

2008 has been through and done for 16 days now. As of this post, I am all caught up with blogging! Sad to say that my camera has not taken a single picture in 2009. Tragic really. But soon I will break it out! Promise!

One of the last things I got to do before coming back to Seattle was ice skating at the Inn of the Seventh Mountain. Fun? Yeah, but I have weak ankles or bad balance or something like that and I fell a good number of times. Regardless, it was amazingly fun! Remember when you first started snowboarding? No control and plowing over little children left and right. Similar to that I'd say:-).

Me, Karlee, Kristen, rando kid
Getting a feel for the ice

Hey! We were all first years together! Still friends too.

Jayson, Kristen, and Karlee

Me and My ex roommate. Love her!

Our fun group.
Scott, me, Josh, Karlee, Kristen, and Jayson.

Ps. you might have seen these pics already because Kar already got them up on her blog, but they are fun enough that you can look at them twice I am sure!

The Joy of Hookybobbing

2009-01-07T23:12:00.000-08:00

So I know at times that I come across as the ultimate city girl. You know, that one that doesn't like dirt or bugs or intense camping? I just have to say that I wasn't always like that. This Christmas I got the chance to go back to my country roots.
That's right...The country.

Side note: My mom calls me her "little country mouse, that has moved to the city."

My brother and I in matching unisex coveralls
I left all my snow clothes in Bend. Smart I know.

Me, pre hookybobbing

This was my backyard growing up.
Now can you see why I don't like camping?
My home growing up was camping!

For those of you that don't know...
hookeybobbing is when you are pulled behind a car on intertubes.
hehehe. So fun. (I'm the one on the left)

So fun. Also cold.
I thin I will stick with my snowboard for the future.

Me, Dad, and Jake
After our adventure.
(Molly couldn't come because she sprained her knee the day before)

Christmas at the Buce's

2009-01-07T23:06:00.000-08:00

I love my family so very much!
I got to home to the mountains for Christmas.
There were some issues with the power, so it was very mellow and laid back.
Games, Tv, and family.

Me and my Dad.
We are so cute!

Sister and Mother

The Buce Girls

Me hermano, Jake

Welcome home Kristen!

2008-12-25T16:24:00.001-08:00

One of my best friends has been in Thailand for 6 months-and now she is home!

After much delay and travel...welcome home!

Jayson and I
Very excited w/ flowers

Soooo excited

The wonderful Redmond airport

Birthday Dinners

2008-12-25T11:16:00.000-08:00

So many December Birthdays. So much fun.
There are so many amazing people in my life.
Love you guys!

Stacy, Me, and Tina
At Merakesh

Belly Dancer & Tina

Tina & Rory

Happy Birthday Brie Babe!
Cheesecake factory

Stacy and Brie

Happy Birthday Terry!
Some fun Mexican Restaurant

Bruce & Terry

Thanksgiving part two

2008-12-02T12:48:00.000-08:00

The second part of Thanksgiving was all about beautiful Bend and my wonderful amazing friends that live there!
Not everyone was available for pictures, but I did see many people!

Lunch w/ Lorelei . Coffee w/ Brandy. Coffee w/ Katie
Civil war game w/ Kenze, Katie, Scott, Jimmy, ect
Church w/ my Wetside family!
Barnes & Noble coffee
Friends Thanksgiving marathon with the Katie's and Kenzie
Breakfast & coffee w/ Karlee
Saw Fab at Bellatazza
Saw April at Vanilla-bought a tank top
Safeway-Red bull needed
Church to say goodbye to some
Lunch w/ Jayson, Greg, Katie, and the kids
I love these people!

Lunch at Flat bread

Me and Katie!

And then drive home to Seattle!

Thanksgiving part one

2008-12-02T12:31:00.000-08:00

The Holiday season started in La Grande at my grandmothers house

My family together for the holidays

Grandma Bobbie and our Turkey

Me and the man in my life.

The good looking Buce Kids

During our family photo shoot-we wandered down to the trail tracks.
This is me overcoming my fear of train tracks. Woot!

The Future Life

2008-10-21T13:45:00.000-07:00

Someday in the future, I imagine that I will have a life. It is not in the foreseeable future right now though. Someday I will have a social life. Someday I will have, dare I saw it...time! Can you imagine a life where I have time to...

Sleep
paint my nails (who knows? Maybe even my toe nails!)
Have a relaxing cup of coffee-maybe with a friend?
Blog
Catch up on my people to call list
Finishing planning my November calendar for work
Oh...do homework
Do nothing

That is a start of things I would like to do when the time presents itself. In the mean time, know that I am alive and well. Seattle in the fall is beautiful. Love you all.

A winning equation

2008-10-18T23:26:00.000-07:00

A glorious fall weekend + A friend from Portland= A good time to be had for all

Me and a pretty church in Queen Anne

Two pretty girls on a Sunday Afternoon
FYI-some rando passerby was trying to give the high class photographer
that I am friends with tips! He obviously hasn't seen her blog!

My pretty friend Joann and the pretty church

All in all. A great weekend!

Mi pequeña vida-an update on my little life

2008-10-04T11:14:00.000-07:00

Question of the week:

How long do you have to live in a rainy city before you give up the dream of staying dry? I don’t understand it. People seem to have accepted the fact that they will always be soaked. Why would you since the invention of the umbrella?

My newest obsession-red umbrellas. I love them and desperately want one! Candy apple red would be perfect, however, I would settle for fire truck red. In the city of constant rain, you would think that I would be able to find the umbrella of my dreams-it is proving more elusive than I thought. If you see it, please let me know!

For those of you that don’t know, I have moved to Seattle, WA. Not for the school year this time, but until God speaks otherwise. I am trying to find a place to live that is more permanent and am looking for a job still (more interviews next week!). I am getting more plugged into The City Church up here. I will be finishing my senior year at Seattle Pacific University and graduating next fall.

That’s my update. Please stay in touch! It would be even better if you came to visit. I will be home to visit in December! Love you!

The dreaded catch up blog!

2008-09-01T13:17:00.000-07:00

So when you haven't blogged all summer-it can be kind of overwhelming to start back up. I'm sure those bloggers who only undate every six months or so struggle with this issue as well. What to do?! Do a post on every amazing picture and event that has filled my summer? One post w/ many pictures? So many pictures and soo little time. My summer is almost over and I am sorry for the lack of documentation. It really has been great! I promise.
Where to start?

The BF from High schools wedding?

Jordan, Rachael, & I

Random moments around town?

I like to call this one..."Death by bike riding"

Joann's going away party?

Now I have no other look a-likes at Westside! I am taking applications!

I look gooooood on a that scooter!:-)
Road trips?

Walla Walla here we come baby!
Friends from Seattle visiting?

Me and Aimee
Fishing trips & fun w/ friends?

Josh

Craig, Karlee, Josh

What?! Tara in nature?! I KNOW!

We caught some huge fish!
The best game of Mini-golf ever?

Jayson & Gary

Hole in one? No way!
The BF from ID visiting?

Lordleg and I

Dinner w/ the soon to married Janna and Kirk?

Getting tips from my aunt on how to survive in New York-only working part time:-)?

The Emerge Camp out at Elk Lake?

Me and Megan trying to survive the cold and keep the tent from falling! (more camping pics in a later blog)

I am never thrilled to wake, especially when its freezing at 6am and I'm camping!
But then I get to see the most amazing sunrise from the lake!
Brushing up on my piloting skills?Dad's sweet new Stinson

Well there you have it. A lot of life has happened this summer. I left out the bad days, bad pictures, hard times, etc. They were there, but the good by far out numbers the bad. God is so good and I live a very blessed life. Sooo many pictures in one blog and I appologive for that. But now I am only 1, maybe 2 posts away from being caught up! Wish me luck! I love you all!
Love always,
Tara

Disclaimer

2008-08-21T21:15:00.000-07:00

Just to update my fans...
Summer is great!

Bend is Great!
God is good and amazing!
Work and friends equally good and great
however...
INTERNET IS CRAPPY-THUS THE LACK OF BLOGGING!
love you all,

tara

My resignation...

2008-07-28T22:31:00.000-07:00

“I quit!” How many times have I wanted to shout out those words? There are days that I just want to hand in my letter of resignation to the world and quit on my life. I don’t though and God is faithful and things slowly get better. But I feel it is important to note that quitting is an option. We are told since we are little that quitting is not an option. Never quit. Never surrender. Quitting is failure. This is driven home especially if you played sports back in the day. We are not given the option to quit.

However, it’s just not like that in real life. Quitting is a real, honest to goodness, legitimate option. It’s a fight I sometimes feel I am loosing. Sometimes I feel that I am climbing up a hill, being crushed by the world around me, with no desire to go on. No desire to conquer the mountain I climb.

People quit all the time. We check out. We stop trying on the inside and just go through the motions. How many people have killed themselves because they quit on their purpose for life? How many people get in unhealthy relationships because they quit on the promise of someone for them? Quit on purity because we can’t see it in the natural? Quit on our families, our church, our jobs? Quit on God and go through the motions but are distant inside?

I am a quitter. I have quit on my faith, on my God, on my hope. There are times in my life where I have checked out. I have run from the things God has called me to. I have run from my call to impact this nation and influence a generation. I have run from the platform God has designed for me. I have run from the heartbeat of God inside of me.

But,

But grace won’t quit. Even when I quit on God. He never quits on me. On us.
I cry our to God, “I can’t do it. I can’t be who you want me to be!”
He refuses to listen.
God is stronger than my weakness. He is strength in my weakness. He calls my defeat victory. I do not have to fight my battles. Jesus already fought them for me. I win. I just have to want to win. To enforce that victory in my life. It is because of who God is in us that I can walk in victory.
So I won’t quit today

Summer & Friends

2008-07-12T14:58:00.000-07:00

A few pictures of summer so far. Various locations around beautiful Bend.
I've become a lazy blogger and captions would just take to much effort. You should know everybody in the pictures.

Jamie & Jaime's Wedding

2008-07-06T18:40:00.000-07:00

Happy Independence Day!

I spent my fourth of July at my parents house.
There were no fireworks!
We would have burned the whole place down~but their was wedding cake...
My cousin got married in the backyard.
Congrats Jamie and Jaime Zimerlee!

This was the backyard where I grew up
Yeah, its amazing I turned out so normal since after living in the "Boonies"

My sister and I

Jake and Mom

Me and my Daddy

Molly and Bobbie

My second set of parents.
Bruce and Terry

Me and grandma Bobbie

Jaime, Jamie, and Garrett

Cutting the cake.
All in all, a good weekend.

First Impressions

2008-07-06T18:36:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the world Abigail Elizabeth. Nicolette and I got to meet her for the first time last week. Congrats Chris, Jenni, & Sam. She is so great and so amazing for such a tiny person. Hope she thinks as highly of us, as we do of her.

So cute!

She is precious!

So far this summer...

2008-07-05T17:36:00.000-07:00

Catch up, catch up, catch up. So far this summer a lot has happened, and since I am almost caught up, maybe blogging wont be such a chore...

1. The engagement of Janna Meyen and Kirk Wetherbee (sp?).
To be married in September. Hooray!

This was the bunch that was there when they told us!
We love you guys so much!

2. Taking out the boat!
Cassie, Jenna, Nico, and Lindsay.

Could my arms be whiter?
Probably not

3. Hanging out with good friends
Myself, Nicolette, & Karlee

Catch up blogging...home to visit the fam

2008-07-05T17:06:00.000-07:00

I was only home a few minutes before being put to work. Dad and us kids went to help our neighbor Zophie clean up her house. Her husband recently passed away and she is moving back to Poland. She is staying with my parents for a while to get some stuff in order.
Know anyone who is in need of a private mansion?
Have them check it out
http://www.mahoganymansion.com

This is us after a couple of labor intensive hours at work.
We decided to get lunch at the cafe in Dayville
(Molly works here during the summer)

Molly and Jake. These guys are so grown up.
FYI- To all you who drive. The youngest Buce girl will be getting her license the end of the month. Drive with caution

I love my Family.
Sorry there are no pics of my mom.
She was working at the house while we were on our adventure

Catch up blogging...Guess where I got to go?

2008-07-05T16:41:00.000-07:00

This was a few weeks back, the day before I left for Seattle, Brie and I went on a crazy little day trip. The plan was Orange county for the day. Rent a car and hang out on the beach and have pizza and then come home. But an earlier flight was canceled and since we fly standby-all the seats were full to John Wayne. We decided to go somewhere since we were at the airport already. Can you guess to where? I'll give you some hints...

There are rides...

Castles...

People dressed up?
You getting any ideas?

Could that be Mickey in the background?

Indeed it is! We went to Delightful Disney Land.
The happiest place on earth! It was so much fun and such a crazy rush trip.

This is us before we crashed and slept all the way home!

Parting is such sweet sorrow...

2008-06-29T21:39:00.000-07:00

We tried to get all the girls together for a last dinner before I headed south. Ladies night fell on Fathers day, that was the only time we could get some of us together. Lindsay couldn't come, it was past the boys bedtime, Sharron and Amber were out of town, Stacy was having dinner w/ Bruce...so that left only four.

Terry & I

Brie & Tina

Goodbye for the summer YP. You will be missed!!!

2008-06-15T22:39:00.000-07:00

So it was my last Saturday at YP for the summer (for those of you that don't know, I'm in Bend till September-Come visit!!!). Some of the girls in my small group and other friends went out to dinner after:-)

FYI, those pink shirt were designed by Tera Shimada and are for sale to help her to fund raise for a mission trip to India. If you want one, let me know I will get her info to you.

Happy Birthday Sara!

2008-06-15T22:37:00.000-07:00

A couple of Saturdays ago (before YP) we had dinner at the Spaghetti Factory
for Sara's birthday.

Grace, Me, and Sara

Before YP we wandered down by the water and took pictures in the sculpture park.
Everyone in Seattle was in shock... "what is that yellow thing in the sky???"
A perfect Saturday!

A night out w/ friends

2008-06-09T22:31:00.002-07:00

This weekend was Seattle Pacific's graduation.
(hooray for graduating...next year for me? We hope!)
Kenze and her family were up here to see Tricia graduate.
Saturday night us girls and Tricia's family all went out on the town.
Turns out...Seattle can be fun!

Me and Kenze

Me, Alisha, Tricia, Mekenzie, and Hannah
All dressed up

Alisha, Me, & Kenzie

See?! You should all come visit me! We will have fun!

Me & Audry

2008-06-09T22:31:00.001-07:00

Me and my nanny girl-Audry.
She is a very precocious three year old little lady.

We have had tons of great adventures. Last week I even got bit by a duck in the park (I was trying to show her that there were nice and one bit my finger thinking it was food)!
She also asks very hard questions for a little kid. Like "Why aren't you married?"
So much fun!
Hopefully it works out so that I can watch her in the fall too!
Isn't she cute?
This is us after a stinking long walk in Green Lake Park.
We never did make it to the playground. So far to walk. We gave up long before we got there.

Slide Shows make me dizzy!

2008-05-30T23:20:00.002-07:00

All the changing pictures in the slide show below makes me dizzy.

So here are some stationary group shots.
Hooray for new friends!

At the mall

At the hotel restaurant

At E-Thai

For more amazing pictures of the Memorial Day weekend...see the post below!

YP Retreat 2008

2008-05-30T23:20:00.001-07:00

Links

2008-05-23T16:07:00.000-07:00

Everyones links got deleted. Help a sister out. Please leave me a post w/yours.
It doesn't mean I don't love you! So leave me your link and I will put you back on ASAP
Its all screwed up. I can't really log in anymore either...so...we'll see how this turns out

I lack...therefore I am?

2008-05-16T12:43:00.000-07:00

"To err is Human, to forgive divine..."

Lately I have had to fight the urge to get out my hammer and nails and do some crucifying.

I get so frustrated! With you might ask? PEOPLE!!! My friends in particular. I know. I know… “She said what?!” Yes that’s right I said it and now I will explain it.

I get upset when I get stood up. When people forget about me and plans that we have made are easily brushed under the rug; when people are chronically late; when I call and call and call (for a month and a half I might add!) w/ no call back. Yup it’s lonely up here on the soap box.

No one is perfect. But I think that all of the above doesn’t show the heart of Christ for the church or God’s character. Its hurtful, disrespectful, de-values people, and is just plain rude!

It’s funny how God is always faithful to speak when we are ranting and raving and pitching a good old fashion fit (all self righteous and stuff).

I want to see other people fix their flaws and tend to overlook mine :-) Sawdust in your eye and the rain forest in mine and all that. Through my tantrum God has been re showing me a lack in my own life for mercy and grace.

grace-pronounced [greys]
1. mercy; clemency; pardon: an act of grace.
2. freely given, unmerited favor and love (of God).
a. the influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them.
b. moral strength (God gives us the grace to perform a duty).

Mercy-pronounced [mur-see]
1. compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender, an enemy, or other person in one's power; compassion, pity, or benevolence: having mercy on the poor sinner.
2. the disposition to be compassionate or forebearing.
3. the discretionary power of a judge to pardon someone or to mitigate punishment, esp. to send to prison rather than invoke the death penalty

The people in my life are to refine me to see my character developed. I need to be more concerned w/ mine than theirs. God loves me enough to be sure and place people in my life that are invaluable to my character development. I don’t want my gifts to take me where my character can’t keep me.

So I am sorry my friends for the high horse I sometimes try and ride. Don't worry God loves me enough to not let me stay up there long.

Always a painful lesson to be reminded of, but worth it.

keeping things in perspective,
Tara

A day in the life...

2008-05-07T23:09:00.000-07:00

We celebrated Mother's Day early at the Stoddard's household because Terry will be in Hawaii on Sunday. We all got dressed up, went to toys R-us (presents for the people she is seeing on her trip) and then Nordstrom, and then dinner with the family.

Heres what happens when big kids get turned loose in a toy store w/ a camera

Jessica and her dream car

Stacy and her tractor

Me & my jeep
(I always wanted one of these)

Happy Mother's Day Terry!

The real fun started with the Hula Hoops
Yup I know. Nice boots, huh?

Jessica and two hula hoops

Me again-people like pictures anyways
my favorite care bear-Cheer bear

Terry and Dustin

My Seattle Family
I miss my real family and my Bend family though!

Fun times w/ Brie

2008-04-23T22:11:00.000-07:00

Brie and I have got to hang out a lot this week. It's been great!
Our adventures started with a trip to Crystal nails.
Praise the Lord for cheap manicures and pedicures!

Brie and I

I love manicures. My nails are so pretty!
I am hoping that if they are nice and shiny, I will stop biting them!
Wish me luck!

We were going for the artistic look here.

This is us at the "coffee pot" or something like that.
We are in the search for a quaint little coffee shop, this wasn't it.
The search will continue.

Hooray for good friends that God provides!

Question of the week:

2008-04-18T23:02:00.000-07:00

Worst place to have a melt down?

Or at least cry in public...

30 thousand feet above the ground?
(2 weeks ago)

The classroom?
(um, today...silly I know.)

Ha! Any 'bests' you want to share?

Security v. Freedom

2008-04-09T13:52:00.000-07:00

There are some good and bad things about going to a "Christian" School. Some I like and some are just annoying. My Christianity and world politics class is one of the things that I really like.
The class started out by looking at Biblical themes and certain stories that showed God's people involved in politics. While reading one such story, with political glasses, I got some amazing new perspectives on our dependence on God.
I have been thinking a lot about security and freedom. How we often get one at the expense of the other.

Numbers 14
"So all the congregation lifted up their voices and cried, and the people wept that night. And all the children of Israel complained against Moses and Aaron, and the whole congregation said to them, "If only we had died in the land of Egypt! Or if only we had died in this wilderness! Why has the Lord brought us to this land to fall by the sword, that our wives and children should become victims? Would it not be better for us to return to Egypt?" So they said to one another, "Let us select a leader and return to Egypt."

I think we all know how the story ends...Caleb and Joshua stand and want to go into the land God promised (A bold stance that they are nearly stoned for) and then the presence of God shows up and saves them. Moses and Aaron are on their faces before God-asking Him to not destroy all the people. All the Israelites (minus Joshua and Caleb) don't get to go into the promised land.

How does this relate? Well I was struck by how amazing this was. God in great signs and wonders freed the Israelites from slavery. He brought them into a place of freedom, where they could worship. At the first threat of danger, they would rather go back to slavery, to the security of Egypt, than depend on God. In Egypt they had food, clothes, and the essentials, they were slaves but their futures were certain. In the wilderness, not so much. Crazy thought. They looked to a Government for Salvation from problems rather than God. Interesting.

We see the same thing in 2 Samuel 8. When they want a King. The Israelites want to be like the nations around them. They want a tangible king and a government instead of God. The King even takes the tithes meant for God to become the tax!

I am so hard on the people of Israel, but in reality, I am not all that much better. It is easier to choose security in something other than the freedom of relying on God. Security in our jobs, our schooling, the economy, familiar relationships, families, you name it.

Psalms 37: 5 & 25
"Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass...I have been young, and now am old; Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, Nor his descendants begging bread."

People don't tend to read long blogs. So I can use longer ones as journal entries:-) Fun!

The Buces

2008-04-09T13:14:00.001-07:00

This is my ever amazing family when they were up in Seattle a few weeks ago. They weren't here under the best of circumstances (a funeral) but it was nice for us all to be together.
Jake Thomas (13-14 in July)
Molly McKenzie (15-16 in July)
Tara Jeanette (Big 23 as of April)
Thomas Michael
Carol Lee
We are a good looking bunch I think.

Meus Sententia

2008-03-27T17:16:00.000-07:00

My Thoughts...
Reading in Hebrews the other day brought me to a familiar verse…

“For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must five an account…”
Hebrews 4:12-13

Lately I have been thinking about why people hide from God. Why do we run from the presence of God? Why do we run from the one place we can find fulfillment, acceptance, healing, etc? Basically, why do we try and hide from the one person who knows us intimately, created us, knows what is wrong with us, and can fix us? I think one possible answer is in the above verse.

“Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give an account…”

Something I have noticed is that when things are painful, we want to run from them and avoid dealing with them at all costs. We buy into the lie that if we can ignore them for a while they will get better. A very “Scarlet O’Hara” approach to dealing w/ problems. Not healthy at all. When an issue arises it should drive us to the arms of God-not under the bed in hiding. So why do we not run to God? Because we can’t hide in the presence of God. You can’t come into time with God and give Him your all and keep secrets from Him at the same time. He knows them all. We don’t go to God because we know that we can’t avoid dealing with things there. We are forced to be real when we come face to face with our real God.

It might seem easier to hide, but only for a little while. God is good. And even though being forced to deal with problems is painful, in the long run, it is easier to deal than hide.

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit…”
Psalm 34:18

Just some thoughts. My camera has lost some of its joy…so thoughts instead of pictures. At least I am updating. Be grateful.

A day @ the beach

2008-02-25T21:57:00.001-08:00

Saturday it was...SUNNY.
I know! I took pictures just to prove it

And since I love taking pictures I took others just for fun
This is a park near mi casa.

This is our "Christmas Card" picture.

For those of you who haven't met her, this is my friend Tina.
She is a good sport and puts up with my camera

Just for fun...

So excited for the sun. Glory!

It feels like summer, and summer means coming home!

Just one last picture with the sun.
Until we meet again my friend...

more pictures from Bend...

2008-02-24T21:11:00.000-08:00

Some random pictures of people that I love in Bend...
you should no them all, no need for captions

Sunrise in...

2008-02-19T17:52:00.001-08:00

Thats right, Bend Oregon!

Did you know that dawn is at 6:15 and sunrise is at 7:05? So early!

My boyfriend surprised me very early on Saturday morning and we watched the sunrise up on Aubry. So much fun. Here is the most beautiful sunrise ever, in Bend!

This is me thrilled to death to be home!
I got into town Friday night (and then there was Step up 2, yeah!)
This is Saturday morning...
Saturday was hanging out and church
Phil wasn't as excited for taking pictures this early...there are some of him later though.

My good friend Lorelei

2008-02-12T23:04:00.001-08:00

Lorelei and I at Victrola Coffee house. They had great Americanos!
Thanks for coming my friend.

Model Shots

Posing for the camera...

So much fun and craziness in one weekend.
This picture was taken at Pike Place Market.
We wandered around there for a while.
Then went to Pacific place and found some great sushi.
There was also shopping and more eating and church.

A little place called Aspen...

2008-02-04T16:29:00.000-08:00

Our vacation to Aspen...it was the cutest little snow town I have ever seen.

It was the greatest.
This was our great group.
Clif, Conrad, me, Phil, Janna, Nicolette, Casey, Mekenzie, and Tricia

This pretty much sums up the trip...joyful

The group at dinner

Group shot x2

All the girls...:-)

Phil came to visit me...

2008-01-31T14:50:00.001-08:00

Hooray! Phil came to visit me in Seattle. Yeah for the rainy city. It's so much better when friends come to visit. When are the rest of you coming up?! I am waiting.
Lorelei is coming next weekend...and after that?
It could be you!

I love you all so much!

the wedding of my BFF

2008-01-31T14:45:00.001-08:00

Jana and Seth got married on January 5th. Whoo hoo! I love them both!

The bride getting ready

All the Bridesmaids

Mr and Mrs Clarke

Cutting the cake! I love you both so much.
Congratulations!

The update blog

2008-01-07T18:06:00.001-08:00

So I have gathered from comments on my blog as well as messages and comments on myspace, that not everyone knows what is going on w/ my life these days. That really is one of the main reasons for a blog, I just hate typing and love posting lots of pictures (worth a thousand words and all that) but... for everyone who has been asking...this is for you!

For everyone thinking, "Hey! That doesn't look like Bend!," you are absolutely right. That would be the new skyline that I get to see everyday. I wanted a picture that would have something set apart for the city and make people guess, but i wasn't quick enough w/ my camera to get the Space Needle or Starbucks headquarters. Yup. Seattle. As of January 1st, 2008, my temporary home is in Des Moines, WA (South of Seattle).
"Why?," you might ask? Well, school. I have heard God speak that I needed to be obedient to the word He spoke about finishing my education so that I will be ready for the things He has in store for my future. I am a junior as Seattle Pacific University. I am finishing my bachelor degree in Poli Sci and either History or Pre law (undecided).
"How long will you be away from home?," luckily not that long. I will be home for the summer in June and at that time re-evaluate and see if I need to come back or stay. This is the trial period.
"The worst part about living in Seattle?," it isn't Bend! There isn't a Westside, Drake Park, my wonderful amazing job, my boyfriend, my best friends, my leaders, my home! But it is where God has asked me to be for a season. Please keep me in your prayers and come visit soon!

Goodbye Breakfast

2008-01-07T18:04:00.001-08:00

Me and some of my greatest friends having breakfast at Westside Cafe on the first day of 2008.

Right before I left home for 6 whole months!

Happy New Years

2008-01-07T18:03:00.000-08:00

Phil and I all dressed up for New Year's Eve.

The events...dinner at Bluefish Bistro, movie watching, and somehow managing to stay awake all the way to midnight!

Sometime in the 'tweener' week

2008-01-07T18:01:00.001-08:00

After Christmas, Before New Years @ McMinimins

(spelled wrong I am sure)

Merry Christmas...love the Buces

2008-01-02T21:19:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to get caught up! Ack! Christmas 2007 @ the Buces.
(Great, today is January 7th...many posts to get caught up on)

Esta es mi hermano, Jake

The most Charlie Brown Christmas tree you will ever see.
We didn't get to into the decorations this year. Obviously.

Me and my daddy.
Yeah he is coming to see me this weekend!

Jamie my cousin, and Jamie his GF.
They move to Bend and I move to Seattle.
So much for getting the family together.

My pretty mom and I

Mi hermana, Molly McKenzie

and the last Christmas picture, Molly and I.
She really does look like she should be Mekenzie's sister and not mine. Oh well!